If That's Not Love....
by Girl in a White Dress
Summary: Sometimes a sister is the only person you can talk when you've got something on your mind. Please r&r.


Disclaimer: The characters of the X-Files do not belong to me. No infringement is intended and no money is being made.

If That's Not Love....

By Melanie-Anne

The red-haired woman slowly made her way to where her sister was waiting. She knelt on the slightly dewy grass and looked up at the sky.

"Hello, Missy."

The silence was deafening.

"I'm supposed to be at work but I couldn't face him. It's too...complicated."

Unconsciously, her fingers tugged at the grass, pulling it up in tufts.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know saying it doesn't help, but I needed to let you know. If I could turn back the clock and take your place I'd do it in a heartbeat."

Scully forced herself to look at the concrete slab in front of her, tears filling her eyes at the sight of her sister's name engraved on the tombstone.

"I'm sorry it had to be you," she whispered.

"Day, what do you want to be when you grow up?" a young Melissa Scully asked.

Dana nibbled on her bottom lip thoughtfully for a moment before she smiled, announcing, "I want to change the world."

Scully leaned her forehead against the smooth surface of the tombstone, unable to speak as the tears poured relentlessly down her face. She held her hand to her mouth as if that would be enough to stifle the sobs wracking her tiny body.

"It's my fault you died," she whispered eventually. "If I hadn't joined the Bureau you'd still be alive."

"But you wouldn't have changed the world."

Scully gasped and sat back, lookng around her to see who had spoken. There was no one in sight. Certain she'd only imagined it, Scully let her thoughts drift to the past.

"Why are you crying?" Melissa stood at the foot of Dana's bed, staring at her sister with a look of concern on her face.

Sixteen-year-old Dana looked up and mouthed 'Go away.'

"No." Melissa sat on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"If it's nothing, you wouldn't be crying." Melissa's logic was irrefutable.

Dana sat up and wiped her tears away with her shirtsleeve.

"Cuz I'm dumb."

"No, you're not. Is it a guy?"

Dana nodded.

"I bet he wasn't worth it anyway. Just you wait, Dana, one day you'll meet someone who'll sweep you off your feet and you'll get married and live happily ever after."

"Yeah, right."

"It's true! I'm psychic, remember? I can tell these things. Give me your hand."

"Missy-"

But the younger girl was determined in her mission. She grabbed Dana's hand and turned it palm-up. "Close your eyes," she ordered.

Dana scowled but did as she was asked, ignoring the tickle of Missy's fingers on her palm.

"You are going to fall in love with a man who'll love you more than anything else in the whole world. He'd even go to the ends of the earth for you."

Dana sighed and pulled her hand away. "You should stop reading Mills & Boon, Missy. They're turning your brains to mush."

"Just wait and see, Dana."

"Okay, my turn. Give me your hand."

"But you don't even believe-"

Dana grabbed Melissa's hand. "I predict that one day you're going to go insane and they're going to lock you away in a padded room-"

"Dana! That's mean! I was only trying to cheer you up."

"See, I was right," Melissa said with a laugh.

Scully's eyes flew open in shock. "Who's there? This isn't funny!"

"What? You believe in little grey men but not in ghosts?"

"I don't-"

"Don't tell me you've forgotten about Antarctica already."

But Missy's dead! Scully thought.

"Anyway, I was right about one thing," Melissa continued. "He did go to the ends of the earth for you."

"But he doesn't love me," Scully said sadly.

"Rubbish! Of course he does, Dana. He would have died for you. He risked everything to save your life. If that's not love, then what is?"

Scully sighed softly, tears forming afresh. "He deserves better than me," she said in a small voice.

"That's not true. You've seen how he looks at you and how he always find a way to touch you. That one night at the hospital when you were so sick, did you know he came in to see you? He was broken at the thought of losing you."

"Because he's my best friend."

"No. Because he loves you."

Scully shook her head, wanting so badly to believe her sister's words but unable to open her heart to the possibility. "You're wrong."

"This is about Billy Turner, isn't it?" Melissa asked.

"Who?"

"The guy who broke your heart in the tenth grade."

"No!" Scully laughed.

"So, what, then?"

Scully took a moment to gather her thoughts before answering. "I'm scared that I'm not enough for him. That he'll want what I can't give him."

"Children." Melissa was as blunt as ever, yet even though her words hurt they were always truthful.

"Yes," Scully whispered. "When I found Emily, I thought...but then she was gone...and it was like another huge part of me had been ripped away."

"Emily was a miracle that wasn't meant to be."

Scully shifted so that her back was against the tombstone and gazed up at the sky again, staring at the clouds.

"Do you remember when we used to do this with Dad?"

"Yeah," Melissa smiled. "You'd always ask what they were made of and why they didn't fall to the ground and all I wanted to know was if they tasted like cotton candy."

Scully smiled too. "And he told us that they were cotton candy for the birds and that they stayed up there magically."

"That was when you stil believed in magic."

"Now I know better."

"Then explain how I'm talking to you right now."

Scully didn't miss a beat. "Because I miss you so much that I'm imagining it. Or I've lost my mind. Either way, it's not real."

Melissa laughed. "Has working with Mulder taught you nothing?"

"Why are we talking about him again?" Scully groaned.

"Well, if I'm your subconscious, you tell me."

Scully pressed her lips together. Whichever way she chose answer, Melissa would win.

"I'd better go to work," she said, changing the subject.

"Too scared to answer?" Melissa smirked.

"I'm already late," Scully continued.

"Right. Whatever. See you soon."

"Goodbye, Missy. Love you."

"You too. Bye, Day."

Scully was aware of being swept up into someone's arms. She fought back, trying to push away whoever it was.

"Hey, Scully, relax. It's only me," a very familiar voice said.

She looked into her partner's face, her lips forming his name.

"Thank God you're okay," Mulder said. "I was worried. Your phone just rang and rang and your mom said she hadn't seen you. I thought..." he choked on the words, "I thought I'd lost you again."

He still held her and she realized she must have been lying on the ground.

"I'm okay, Mulder. I'm fine."

He pulled her against his chest, almost crushing her his hold was so fierce. "What are you doing here?"

"I...I needed to think."

"You were sleeping on your sister's grave!" The words came out harsher than he had intended and he backtracked immediately. "I'm sorry. It's just...nobody knew where you were."

Scully was aware that it was well past the time where he should have released her but she was enjoying the warmth of his embrace too much to pull away.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled into his chest and finally allowed herself to wrap her arms around him.

"Yeah. Just don't do it again, okay?" He couldn't disguise the relief in his voice.

"I'll think about it."

"Do you want to talk?" Mulder asked hesitantly.

Scully pulled away slightly and looked up at him, thinking about her recent conversation with Missy.

"He did go to the ends of the earth for you...He risked everything to save your life. If that's not love, then what is?"

"Yeah," Scully said. "I think we should talk."

He smiled and tenderly brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear, his hand lingering on her skin far longer than was necessary. "So what's on your mind?"

***

Feedback, pretty please! melani_anne@yahoo.com 


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